**Trigger warning, this interview includes references to suicide**
When Louth YFC lost its Club Chair earlier this year, the club pulled together to ensure everyone stayed connected and knew there was support available. NFYFC spoke to club secretary Tom Watson about the impact on the club and how a tragedy brought them closer together.
There were no warning signs before Louth YFC’s Chair tragically took his own life earlier this year. A popular and active member of the club, Alec Newlove was always at the centre of activities.
His evening walk across the farm where he worked was not out of character. But when he didn’t show up for work the next morning, alarm bells rang.
Louth YFC’s Club Secretary Tom Watson was one of the first to hear the news about Alec because his father manages the farm where Alec worked.
“It came as a massive shock. No one had any idea he was struggling,” said Tom who had spoken to him the night before. “He was telling me how he was excited for our Night Lark we were hosting the following week (an event organised by Louth YFC), we were getting ready for Tug of War training. He was texting all his mates – just general chit chat. There was no message to say bye.”
Alec had been involved in the club for more than 10 years and Tom believes he would have progressed to be county chair as he was so passionate about the organisation.
Alec had asked Tom to be his secretary at the start of the membership year and the pair had made plans, including wanting to increase membership to 80 and competing in the Tug of War.
“We had a checklist of things we wanted to do. We got through to where we wanted to in Tug of War, we did Tractors into Schools, something Alec loved, and we also wanted to be club of the year at county, which we did win,” said Tom.
“We also reached 80 members, and we wanted to see a high return in membership. I wished I could have FaceTimed Alec to tell him that pretty much all our members came back at our new members’ night this September.”
The tragedy could very easily have torn the club apart. However, the committee's actions in response to the heartbreaking news have brought members together, providing crucial support during a difficult time.
“One of my first thoughts after finding out about Alec, was the realisation there were 80 members expecting to see him at our next club meeting and that I had got to tell them the news.
“We have a very good relationship with Gilly Steel at LRSN – Lincolnshire Rural Support Network – and we worked with them to organise an emergency meeting,” said Tom who invited everyone to the Louth cattle market where the club meets every week.
“There must have been around 100 people there, including Alec’s family. My dad, who is the President of our club, broke the news and I spoke and bawled my eyes out in front of everyone because I wanted to show that it was ok to cry and to just let it go.”
LRSN attended the meeting and supported members who needed to talk.
“We basically just stood there talking to each other for a couple of hours, having a hug, having a cry, and a laugh about how he was – he was one of the most mischievous people I have ever met,” Tom said.
The grieving and healing had only just begun, and the club knew they would need to do more to stay connected.
It was important to ensure members were aware of the support available, with regular reminders shared across social media platforms. They also committed to continuing regular meetings and social activities to encourage members to stay in contact, extending an open invitation to LRSN to join all gatherings.
A representative from LRSN is now a permanent fixture at club meetings – and not just in Louth but across all clubs in Lincolnshire, thanks to funding from the charity.
“It’s completely confidential and they’ll take you to one side and chat with you if you need it,” said Tom.
“I think the club definitely became stronger. It brought a lot of people closer together. Being there on a Tuesday night, yes it was without Alec, but being with your friends and having a laugh would sort of take your mind off it for a while.”
A candle is always lit during club meetings in memory of Alec. Tom says it acts as a visual reminder that Alec is still with them. “It’s a symbol that he’s gone but not forgotten.”
In tribute to Alec, the club has also printed the number 80 on their t-shirts, the number he proudly wore while playing his favourite sport, hockey.
“We also printed the LRSN phone number on the back of the shirts as a constant reminder for everyone,” said Tom who was pleased that the sponsorship money they raised for the new shirts covered printing some extra’s to give to Alec’s family.
Tom and a few members of the club also got involved in a JCB Fastrac charity run to raise awareness of mental health in farming, which raised £12,000 for mental health charities. Tom was one of a team of 14 people who shared driving round the UK coastline across eight days, with Alec’s name emblazoned on the tractor bonnet.
“We ended up in Land’s End just before sunset and we did it in our club clothing, It was a bit emotional. It hit home why I was doing it,” said Tom.
The club’s fundraising efforts have taken on a new meaning now – with most events raising money for LRSN to fund the support workers.
They’re a constant reminder of the importance of talking to others and Tom advises all clubs to actively raise awareness of mental health.
“I can’t emphasise enough how important it is to be with people when something bad happens. Don’t isolate yourself. Get involved with your local mental health support group, and don’t bottle it up. The best thing I ever did was just let it go.”
NFYFC’s Rural+ and Minding Your Head workshops are available for clubs to run during club meetings and Tom encouraged YFCs to put them on their programme.
“It’s not something in my lifetime I thought I’d go through. I don’t wish it on anyone. You never think it’s going to happen that close to home.”
As the club begins a new membership year, without Alec at the helm, Tom says they are looking to the future. After placing second at the county rally—a result they never expected after everything they had faced—they are now determined to bring the trophy home this year.
“We were gobsmacked to come second, only 20-something points behind first place – after all the club had been through that year,” said Tom. “We’re winning it this year though! Alec wouldn’t want us to hold back the future of the club.
“We all know now that everything we do in the club has a meaning.”
If you have been affected by this article and need someone to talk to, please see our Signposting to Support pages on the website for organisations who offer support or contact safeguarding@nfyfc.org.uk who can help you with making contact with a support organisation.
